Just Let Me In
by regalshadow21
Summary: Regina Mills would never forgive herself. How could she? After what happened to Emma? To Henry? It was all her fault. She deserved the worst. She didn't deserve to live. But she survived the accident. Depressed, scared, and alone, Regina cannot imagine living in a world without the two people she loved most. That is until she meets Haley James, who changes her life in a big way. AU
1. Chapter 1

**Just Let Me In**

 **Regina Mills would never forgive herself. How could she? After what happened to Emma? To Henry? It was all her fault. She deserved the worst. She didn't deserve to live. But she survived the accident. Depressed, scared, and alone, Regina cannot imagine living in a world without the two people she loved most. That is until she meets Haley James, who changes her life in a big way.**

 **Sorry! I got a full time job over the summer and have been busy balancing that and trying to apply to college for the spring semester. I've decided to rewrite this fic because I didn't like the way it was set up. But I want it to go in the same direction as my first attempt.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Once Upon A Time.**

 **Chapter 1**

Haley could have cared less to be honest. What was the point? She was 11 years old and had no expectations of being adopted. According to the rest of group home family, she was considered "to old". She sighed and turned to her side to look at the clock. _11:00 am. Wonderful_ , she thought. She curled up in the bottom of her bunk bed and was in the middle of reading _Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone_ for the millionth time. She grumbled, closed her book, and trudged towards her closet to find something socially acceptable to wear.

It was a rainy Saturday morning. It was usually on this day that Haley would devote her time to read as much as she could before her "family" outings, which were on Sundays. However, this Saturday was different. According to her social worker, Ms. Katherine Nolan, she was to be up and ready to meet a potential parent at 11:30 sharp. She didn't give Haley a name. All Ms. Nolan had said was that surprises were always the best and that she had a "good feeling about this one". Haley hated surprises and at this point hated life. But what else was she to do? Haley grumbled some more. She grabbed a stained red baseball t-shirt, put on a pair of black worn out skinny jeans and slid into a white, muddy pair of converse high-top shoes. She headed out of her bedroom and made her way downstairs.

"Haley James!" Katherine looked at the child with disapproving eyes. "What in the world are you wearing? Did you even comb your hair? Look at yourself! Do you think this is appropriate for your guest?"

Haley mumbled as she grabbed a hair tie that was miraculously in the back pocket of her jeans. "Sorry, Kat." She pulled her hair up and made her way to the kitchen sink to wash her face quickly.

Katherine's eyes soften as she followed her. "Honey, if you want to be adopted, then you're going to have to give your very best first impression. It's sad to say but in this world, image is everything. And now that you're eleven...Well…you still have a chance but you have to be your very best…"

Still have a chance. _Whatever. There's no hope,_ Haley thought. _I swear Katherine if you give me a hope speech…_

"Haley, what will the mayor think?"

Haley was confused. "What about the mayor? It's not like she's coming to visit."

Katherine shook her head and chuckled. "No, you're right. The mayor of Boston isn't coming. But the woman who wants to meet you is actually a mayor. You can't just meet her looking like you've been out running around with the local football team."

Haley looked down at her worn out t-shirt that read "Boston Red Sox". She frowned. "This is baseball."

Katherine sighed and smiled. "You have two minutes to go upstairs and change. The mayor doesn't like to be kept waiting."

"Aghhh!" _Crash!_

The two looked at each other and ran towards the sound in the kitchen. There, they found the kitchen door wide open and a boy who had fallen down in front of the fridge.

"Oh, August!" Katherine ran toward the eight-year old boy. He was covered in dirt from head to toe. She gently helped him onto his feet. "What happened?"

"I was trying to get a soda because I was thirsty," August mumbled. "And I fell."

"Where are your shoes?" Katherine tried not to laugh as she followed the trail of mud and dirt that was all over the kitchen that somehow made its way on the refrigerator door.

"Somewhere outside." August looked down.

Haley rolled her eyes and grabbed the soda. "Here, kid." She closed the kitchen door and grabbed a mop.

"Thanks, Haley." Katherine shook her head at August. "Enough playing outside. Both of you should go change." She grabbed the mop from Haley and pointed upstairs. It was already 11:30. "Go before she gets here."

"Maybe she's late...Hey, kid! I'll race you upstairs," Haley yelled as she ran out of the kitchen.

"No way," August shrieked. "I'm gonna beat you!"

"No running," Katherine called out and turned her attention towards the mess on the floor. She sighed again and went after them to make sure that they were changing.

They never made it towards the stairs. All three of them froze at the sight of a woman standing in the living room. Her arms were folded across her chest as she slowly inspected the room she was in. She was wearing a black business suit with a grey silk blouse. The black heels she wore made her look fierce, but the expression on her face was soft. Her make-up was impeccable. She looked flawless, which made her seem unapproachable. She turned and smiled kindly towards the children. Then, her gaze fell on Haley. "I'm never late, dear," she said softly.

.


	2. Chapter 2

I decide to rewrite this fic because I didn't know how to proceed with what I had…I knew the direction, but not the steps in between. Also, my brain did this funny thing where it decided that my other fic _It's a Sacrifice I'm Willing to Make_ would be a prequel to this fic. I will, however, be uploading one chapter at a time for both fics…It's been a while since I have uploaded anything so I decided to upload two chapters…lol... Enjoy

 **Chapter 2**

" _Would you adopt again," Emma asked quietly._

" _Absolutely," Regina responded. "I never wanted Henry to be an only child. I was just waiting for a Mr. or Mrs. Right to come along. I realized what joy and happiness Henry brought me. And to be honest, I just wanted to share that happiness with someone else. For that Emma, I cannot thank you enough for him."_

 _Emma processed the information. "A Mrs. Right," she asked smiling?_

 _Regina chuckled. "Yes, dear. "_

…

"Regina, are you still with me," the man seated in front of her asked. Archie Hopper knew she was lost in thought. It happened every so often. Every ten to fifteen minutes to be exact. Archie crossed his legs and waited patiently for a response.

"Yes, of course Dr. Hopper. I apologize." Regina sighed. These meetings were pointless. The only reason she ever agreed to go was because of her friend Katherine. Today marked her fifty-first meeting ever since… "Could you repeat the question, please?"

Archie smiled, "I asked why was it so important for you to adopt all of a sudden." He watched as he saw a flash of hurt come over Regina's face.

"It's what she wanted," Regina whispered. Her hands began to shake so she folded them together over her legs.

"It's all right to say her name, Regina," Archie said softly. "It actually is healthy to. It shows me that you're progressing for the better." He watched as Regina changed her posture as rigid as she could.

"All right." She took a deep breath. "Emma." Her voice cracked as she said her name. She tried again. "Em-ma." Her body shivered. It had been several months since she had last spoken her name. "I am doing this for Emma," she said slowly.

Archie furrowed his brows and thought carefully how he was going to respond. "Regina," he said gently. "It's great that you want to do this in honor of Emma-"

"And Henry!" she interrupted. She winced. It hurt to think of them both.

"And Henry," Archie nodded. "I know you loved them very much. However, I am concerned that you're doing it for the wrong reasons."

Regina looked at him incredulously and stood up as if she was getting ready to storm out.

"No wait! Please let me explain," Archie pleaded. "Please, Regina hear me out."

Regina sighed and lowered herself to the couch.

"Regina," Archie said slowly. "There is no doubt that you were a great mother to Henry. Yes, you've had some flaws in the beginning. But so does every parent. No one can argue that you didn't give Henry his best chance." He paused and look at his patient who had been through enough trauma to last several lifetimes. He rose from his chair and slowly sat down next to Regina. He gently reached out for one of her hands to hold, which she surprisingly allowed. "But, if you're doing this only for the sole purpose of Emma wanting you to adopt again, then I think you're not ready."

"I was happy." Regina's eyes were filled with tears. "I was happy when I adopted Henry. And during our last moments together…she reminded me of that happiness." Another pause. "I promised her, Dr. Hopper, as she was laying there dying in the hospital bed covered in blood. I promised her that I would adopt again." Tears ran down her cheeks unwillingly. Archie grabbed his handkerchief from his pocket and offered it to her.

"I understand that," Archie whispered. "But are you physically and emotionally ready to take on a child? Regina, it's only been about a year since—"

"Don't you think I know that, Dr. Hopper," Regina cried exasperated. "But I need to move on. For them. For me. I'm living in this mansion by myself. It could be filled with laughter and happiness. With the children I would have had with her. With her by my side!" Regina took another deep breath. "But she's not here," she smiled sadly. "And neither is my son…. My house could be filled with laughter and happiness. But instead I come home to an empty house. Do you have any idea how haunting that is, Dr. Hopper? I come home and there is a deafening silence. There are no sounds. There is no life." Regina blew her nose and stood up. She was now ready to leave. She had another appointment to attend. "Dr. Hopper, I am not only doing this for her or for my son. I am doing this because I need to move on with my life. I am doing this because maybe, just maybe, that while I am saving a child, this child will save me too." She took his hand and shook it.

Archie nodded in acceptance. "I have some homework for you if you don't mind." He walked over to his desk and pulled out a medium size plastic bag from the drawer. He handed it to Regina. "There's a leather bound notebook and a fountain pen inside. Call me old fashioned." He smiled. "I want you to write to Emma. Or to Henry. Or to both. I want you to write to them about anything: your thoughts, feelings, agenda. Write to them as if they were away on vacation and they were receiving your letters." He watched as Regina took the bag unwillingly. "It helps, Regina. It helps. Believe me the writing gets easier the more you do it. Don't' worry. I the only one who will read it is you, the author." He opened the door for her. "Have a good day, Regina."

"Good day, Dr. Hopper." Regina walked out of the office and went straight towards her Mercedes, which was conveniently parked in the first space closest to the door. She sat inside and closed the door.

Bzzz Bzzzz. Her phone vibrated to alert her of all the notifications she missed. She glanced at her phone and groaned. Fifteen text messages and ten missed calls. All from none other than Katherine and Ruby. She began looking through her inbox. It didn't matter. Suddenly, there was an incoming call from Ruby

"There's a reason why I leave my phone in the car while I have my appointment with Dr. Hopper," Regina answered the phone.

"Yeah yeah," Ruby countered. "Cut me some slack. I'm hiding in the back of the diner while I'm calling you. Granny gave me a few minutes to call you…. So how are you feeling today?"

Regina groaned again. "Ruby, you've asked me how I was all week, all day yesterday and now today."

"Well, if you actually give me a good answer, I'll stop." Ruby said. "Plus, isn't today the day you meet -"

In that moment, there was another incoming call: Katherine.

Regina sighed. "Ruby, Katherine is calling…I am going to have to call you back."

"No No NO," Ruby cried out. "Fineeee…but this isn't over Mills. I will march myself right up to your door tonight and get some info out of you."

Regina gave a small smile. "I wouldn't doubt it dear. Goodbye now." She hung up the phone with Ruby and then answered her second call. "Yes, Katherine?"

"You are coming later today yes?" Katherine asked worriedly. She wasn't sure if pushing Regina for adoption was the right thing to do.

"Of course," Regina replied. "I said I would." She started the car and headed down towards Mifflin St. "I'm done with Dr. Hopper now and will head over in about two hours."

"Great!" Katherine squealed. She just wanted her best friend to find happiness again. "You're gonna love her, Regina. I have a gut feeling she's the right kid for you."

"We'll see," Regina chuckled softly.

"What's wrong," Katherine asked. "Did Archie make you depressed again? I don't understand why you make those appointments at 8:00 in the morning. On a Saturday. That's really how you want to start your day. Your weekend of all days …"

Regina rolled her eyes. Her car came to a stop and she turned off her engine. "Katherine, I'm home. I will be there in a couple of hours. Don't worry. I just need to change."

"This is a meeting with a kid that needs a home, Regina, not the queen of England."

"Goodbye Katherine…see you soon," Regina ended the call and glared at the leather notebook. She grabbed it and headed for the front door.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

There were three rooms in her house that Regina used daily: her bedroom, the bathroom, and the kitchen. The other three rooms, not counting the spare bathroom, Regina did best to avoid. It was safe to assume that no one had been inside Henry's room for at least a year. And there were too many photographs of Henry on the wall for Regina to ever enter her office again. And the last room down the hall…well it was a guest bedroom. There was a bed in this room. On top of it, there was a certain red leather jacket. All the doors of these three forbidden rooms were closed of course. And if she could, Regina would have locked all three doors and thrown the keys into the Maine coast. Due to Dr. Hopper's displeasure upon hearing this information in one of their sessions, Regina quickly realized that she would eventually have to enter those rooms. Today was not that day, however.

She reached the doorway of her upstairs bedroom and struggled to think of where to place her new notebook. She pulled the book towards her face to get a closer look. She sighed again. That was all she ever did lately. It became apparent that the newest hobby of the year for Regina Mills was sighing. But she couldn't help it. She turned the book over and then back again. The brown leather bound book had the name "Regina Mills" engraved in the front. It was a personal touch from Dr. Hopper. She flipped through the empty pages. Feeling the leather and paper, Regina made a decision to write, at least a little. She checked the clock next to her bed. 9:30 am it read. _I have some time_ , she thought. She sat on her bed and opened to the first page.

" _Dear Emma_ ," she wrote. The words on the page seemed unreal. _No_ , she thought. She crossed out what she wrote quickly. " _My dearest Henry_ ," She froze and stared at the pages. She crossed out what she wrote again. She rose from the bed and began to pace back and forth. "This is ridiculous", she cried out in frustration. Her voice echoed through the empty bedroom. She closed her eyes and took a long deep breath. _No_ , she thought to herself firmly. _This book will not defeat me._

It took several minutes and a lot of will power but within the next half hour or so Regina managed to do what Dr. Hopper had asked:

 _To Emma and Henry,_

 _Today is the day in which I meet a special little girl. A girl who needs love and a home. Katherine, you remember my friend Katherine the social worker? Well, she found me a perfect match. Or so she says. Kat describes her as a quiet, but strongly opinionated eleven-year-old fireball. How that combination works, I haven't the slightest idea? Katherine's words, not mine. If this adoption process goes through, this will be an exciting new chapter in my life. Hopefully I can be accepted by the adoption agency by the end of this month. And then I can finalize the paperwork. I hope, Henry, that you don't mind if she uses your room as it more suited for children than the rest of the rooms in this house. I am wrapping up your old story book to give to her as a present when I first meet her. I will keep you both updated._

 _With all my love,_

 _Regina_

Regina wiped the tears that were sliding down her face. She looked at the clock again and gasped. 10:45 am. She had used more time than she thought. "Damn it," she stood up and walked towards her closet. But as the she walked, the bedroom window caught her eye. It was pouring rain. _April showers bring may flowers_ , she thought dryly. She quickly chose her clothes, changed, and went down the stairs.

It was somehow a miracle that Henry's story book was laying on the kitchen counter. She didn't bother moving it. Regina had found it lying there months ago when she came down the stairs around 3 am one night to drink a cup of tea. Her insomnia had gotten the best out of her and tossing and turning was doing her no good. Once she turned the lights on in the kitchen, the sight of the tattered used book made her jump from fright. There it was on the counter by the stove. "Once Upon a Time". She could hear Henry's voice perfectly as if he were standing behind her. "You know, Mom, the book shows up to the ones who need it most." Regina shook her head. But she wasn't going to question it. It was certainly not on the counter before It happened. Regina was sure of it. She thought it was in Henry's room all this time and it wasn't as if there were intruders that would come in her house rearranging things. It wasn't important for Regina to think about it at the moment. She grabbed some wrapping paper in the nearby closet and wrapped the book. She reached for the black umbrella that was leaning against the hallway and was on her way to Katherine's.

Regina sat in front of Katherine's driveway for a good ten minutes. She glanced at the clock in her car for the millionth time. It read 11:25. "It's now or never Mills," she spoke to herself. She closed her eyes and thought of what Emma would say to her. "You're just nervous, Regina, relax." She could almost hear Emma talking to her from the passenger seat. "She's a kid. She's probably more scared of you than you are of her." Regina smiled to herself. She had been with Emma long enough to know what she would say in any situation. She opened her eyes. The rain had died down to a steady drizzle. She opened up her umbrella, grabbed the present, and ran for the door.

Once there, she gave a hard knock. No answer. Regina knocked again. No answer. Getting irritated, Regina knocked for a third time. Still no answer. She rolled her eyes at the door and slowly opened it. She walked in and set the umbrella against a wall. She smiled to herself at the familiarity of Katherine's house. It had been awhile since she was here. She made her way towards the living room.

 _They must be busy getting ready_ , Regina thought.

"MAYBE SHE'S LATE...HEY, KID, I'LL RACE YOU UPSTAIRS," a girl's voice sang throughout the entire house.

"NO WAY," a little boy's voice shrieked. "I'M GONNA BEAT YOU!"

"No running!" A strong female voice called out.

Suddenly, the running and the shouting stopped at once.

 _There_ , Regina thought. A familiar voice. Regina turned around towards the noise. She did everything in her power not to laugh out loud. Standing before her were two children and an adult covered in mud who looked extremely guilty as if they were caught red handed. Regina smiled and her eyes made their way towards the girl. "I'm never late, dear," she said softly.


End file.
